I once had a boyfriend who never once saw his parents argue, so when I got angry, he just froze, shut down. We couldn't accomplish anything because my anger had no satisfactory release and resolution within the relationship. I had to find some other way to resolve my anger before he would talk to me about any issues that caused my anger. Being an emotional person, his refusal to deal with my anger was completely unsatisfactory for me.

Growing up, I frequently saw my parents argue. In hindsight, I know that they mostly fought fair. They never called each other mean names and I don't recall them accusing each other of terrible things, but they did argue and yell at each other. I also saw them apologize to one another, kiss and make up and, much later, I would hear my mom giggling behind their closed bedroom door during what I now know was likely their joyful make-up sex. From all of that, I learned that people who love each other can argue, fight, yell at each other, be mad for hours, a couple of days even, and still love each other. It didn't mean that the relationship was over. My parents are still together, still a loving couple, fifty years later. It was a good lesson, one I think every child should have the benefit of learning.

If you keep the fight on subject, it's good for kids to see, I came from a home w/no fighting, I didn't know how to stand up 4 myself as an adult. If u keep it logical etc, no 1's hurt!

I agree that it is ok that children see their parents disagree. Children who don't may get a sense of false reality. Arguing is ok, fighting is not.

Within reason, yes, arguing in front of the kids is ok - fighting is not. Some may not understand the difference but believe me, your kids will know. Verbal abuse is NEVER ok.

I grew up in a home where my mom and step-dad bickered ALL the f-ing time. It got so that I just simply learned to tune them out, especially step-dad and to this day I don't really listen to him at all - I'm just waiting for the verbal abuse to start - so if I don't listen to him at all, then well, I don't hear the abuse either. Worked for me.

Kids can sense tension and disagreement between parents--so its better to be open, and to resolve issues. To be available to answer questions, and speak to kids about resolving conflicts--and treating others with respect.

However, there is a line where fighting becomes abusive and that is not okay for kids to witness. Many kids are injured when caught between fighting parents--sometimes killed (like Marvin Gaye).

Bottom Line: Know when to seek help

My wife and I have problems because she can't see gray area in some of our differences. To her everything is either black or white which is a shame. It's part of her diagnosed personality dissorder, however, if there was a time for me to be black and white about an issue it would be this. My wife's dissorder is one that has manifested itself because of her growing up with a turbulent childhood. This dissorder has lead to paranoia, insecurity, and issues with men in genral that she takes out on me, her immediate male rolemodel. She lives her life on a emotional rollercoaster, unable to control her emotional outbursts and unable to use logic to calm the simplest fears. Because of this we are now separated. I can't let my daughter grow up in a house where mommy and daddy fight for fear that she will grow up to have the same problems her mother has. So to send out a message that this type of behavior is ok infront of children scares me. I think of what the outcome is for those children whose parents might take this article as a sign that there isn't anything wrong with what they are doing to the kids. I know there are gray areas in many different situations and that all situations are unique, but sending a message like this to a demographic of readers that spans a vast spectrum of unique situations, is playing with fire.